Four weeks to go.
Most people I know with babies say it’s going to be hard, it’s a lot of work, it’s not easy, you won’t sleep, you won’t have any time, the beginning is so tough, take all the help you can get…
But where are the stories of new baby bliss? These are the only ones I hear from the aunts and grandmas…
Were earlier generations (my mom and aunts) really more in the spirit of bringing up babies with joy and ease? Or are they just so many miles away from the days of new parenthood that they barely recall the tribulations of it? I’m stumped. My own generation just seems less susceptible to the thrills of having a baby and more inclined to focus on (and share) the hardships. I’m a little tired of being warned all the time… you know?
Truth be told, it’s upsetting me.
With only a month to go, I’m finding it hard to not be influenced by the negativity. And it just seems so strange, considering how my mother-in-law and other older women in my life talk about raising babies in retrospect as the most wonderful thing in the world. Could it really be that they’re just so far from the challenges that they forget?
I think you forget the bad. My mom has no memory of me crying inconsolably, or sleepless nights, or any of the awful things I put her through.
At the end of the day there’s sensation and emotion, memory and desire. I’m sure within these, there will be both the positive and the negative, and over time the negative will fade but the positive will stay. I suppose the people I’m surrounded by are just so in it that they don’t realize how ephemeral the hardness is.
And nobody can feel their lack of sleep, their lack of sex, their frustrations at trying to do and balance everything. We just see the happy baby pictures.
Dear self… in one month’s time…. yes, there will be tricky, frustrating times, and you may feel like you’ve reached the end of your rope sometimes, but wait a day. Wait a week. It’ll all change, and before you know it… a new phase will set in with it’s new challenges, and you will be a stronger woman for having overcome what came before it. Seek out the silly, the joy, the laughter, the understanding, the rare, the opportunity to dance and sing. There are no guarantees that any of these moments will ever come again. This … is… it …
More on this later (probably much, much more on this!)
*** note: my daughter is now 2 months old and I am happy to say the answer for me was bliss!
P.S. Anyone who reads this and happens to be in the midst of the hard part… please write if you want to talk about it! Even though I’m determined to stay focused on the positive and the bliss, I do understand (theoretically, at this point! Still don’t have my girl here yet to keep me up all night) that shit happens and it can be brutal at times. Reach out to me anytime at firstname.lastname@example.org or @mrsjpirate on Twitter.